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　　标题：AreYouAddictedtotheApprovalofOthers？5WaystoOvercomeIt
　　source：huffingtonpost丨bySheridanKesselman
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　　Areyoulivinglifehowyouwanttoliveit？Orareyoulivinglifeforotherpeople？Whatyoumightnotrealizeisthatwhileyouthinkyouarelivingthelifeyouwanttobeliving，yourereallylivingforotherpeople。
　　Howcanyoutell？Professionally，areyoufullofpotentiallygroundbreakingideasthatcouldmovethecompanyoryourdepartmenttothenextlevelofsuccess？Doyoucontributetotheconversationordoyoukeepquietoutoffearofwhatyourcoworkersmightthink？
　　Personally，istheresomebigchangeyouvewantedtomake，perhapstryanewhairstyle，shadeoflipstick，orevenfeelyoungagainbybuyingthetwodoorconvertible，butareterrifiedhowthiscouldchangethewayyourfriendsorfamilymemberslookatyou？Doyouoftenjustgowiththeflowanddowhatyourfriendswanttodooutoffeartheywillrejectyouridea？
　　Inyourintimaterelationshipwithyourspouseorpartner，istheresomethingnewyouvebeenwantingtotryinthebedroom，secretlyfantasizinghowitcouldtakeyoursexualrelationshiptothenextlevel，butaresoterrifiedofwhatyourpartnermightthinkthatitbringsonmoreanxietythanpleasuretothinkaboutit？
　　Inanysituationwhenyouareafraidtoshowyourtruefeelingsorsaywhatyourereallyfeelingbecauseofthefearofwhatotherpeoplemightthink，youaresufferingfromapprovaladdiction。Itsextremelydebilitatingbecauseitsconformityatallcosts。Themisguidedthinkingoftheapprovaladdictis，Iwontbelovedoracceptedunlessothersapproveofmybehavior。
　　OvercomeApprovalAddiction
　　Thegoodnewsisthatonceyouovercomeapprovaladdictioneventoasmalldegree，youbecomefreeofthepsychologicalchainsholdingyoubackfromreachingsuccessandhappiness。
　　Onascaleofonetoseven，sevenbeinghighest，howhighisyourneedtobeapprovedandvalidatedbyotherpeople？Next，askyourspouseorbestfriendtorateyouonthesamescale，andthencompareanswers。
　　Someotherwaystoovercomeapprovaladdiction：
　　1。Learntosayno：Timeisyourmostvaluableresource。Asyougrowpersonallyandprofessionally，additionalprojects，favorsandvariousburdensthreatentoeatawayatyourtime。Identifyanactivitythatisnotgivingyoutheresultsorsatisfactionyouthoughtitwould。Makeacommitmenttodiscontinueit。Getinthehabitofsayingnomoreofteninordertoprotectyourprevioustimes。
　　2。Respectfullydisagreewithothers：Ifeveryoneagreedwitheachotherallthetime，thinkhowboringlifewouldbe。Havingadifferenceofopinionwhetheritswithafamilymemberoracompletestrangerisagoodthing。Ofcourse，alwaysberespectfulaboutit。Bysharingyourpointofviewandthenlisteningtosomeoneelsestakeonthematter，youareopeningyourselfuptopossiblylearningsomethingnew。
　　3。Dontalwaysplayitsafe：Manytimesthereasonyouarestuckinarutisbecauseyoureapproachingthesamesituationthesamewayyouhaveforyearsorevenalifetime。Dontbeafraidtotakeariskandtrysomethingnew。Beopentonewthingsandstopworryingwhatothersmightthink。
　　4。StopIffingonyourself：TheapprovaladdictisnotoriousforbeingaWhatifthinker。Whatiftheydontlikeme？Whatiftheythinkmyideasaredumb？WhatifImbeingtooaggressive？ChangeyourwhatifthinkingtoSowhatifthinkingandanswerthequestion。Sowhatiftheydontlikeme？Itstheirloss。SowhatiftheythinkImdumb？WellatleastIcontributedandIcanfindsomeoneelsewhowillappreciatewhatIhavetosay。
　　5。PlaytheIfIshoulddietomorrowcard：Askyourselfthiscriticalthinkingquestion：IfIshoulddietomorrow，amItrulysatisfiedwiththelifeIhavelived？Behonest。Mostpeoplegothroughlifetryingtoarrivesafelyatdeath。Weonlyhavesomuchsandinthehourglass，somakesuretolivelifehowyouwanttoliveit。
　　Whenitcomestoovercomingapprovaladdiction，rememberthis：youareresponsibletoyouremployees，customers，associatesandfriends，tobehonest，sincereandtoactwithintegrity。Butyouarenotresponsiblefortheirattitudesorbehaviortowardsyou。Hopefullytheylikeyoubecauseitsmorepleasantthatway，butifnot，itsnotyourproblem。