标题:TheLifeChangingMagicofHelpingKidsGetOrganized source:psychologytoday丨byWendyParis 翻译请保留原文链接哦 欲翻译的小伙伴,可评论领稿,并把已完成的译文发在自己的心理圈or个人主页的日志内。请领稿的小伙伴,尽量在一个星期内完成翻译,谢谢!! Iopposedallscreentimewhenmysonwasatoddler,butaftermyhusbandmovedout,Irelented。Specifically,IletourearlyrisingsonwatchFiremanSaminthemorningwhileIsatinbedinatorporwithmyfirstcupofcoffee。 Twoyearslater,whenwemovedtoLosAngeles,FiremanSamcametoo。MysoncontinuedwatchinghimsavetheaccidentproneresidentsofPontyPantyearlymorningsfromourpostoutwest。Ihadn’tenvisionedaparentingplansoinclusiveofananimatedfirefighterfromWales,andlatersomecrazypurplepuffballmasqueradingasachicken,butmysonlovedthem。 Establishingroutines,evenaroundleisureactivitiessuchasa(marginally)educationaltelevisionshowpromotingpositivevalues,canhelpcreatecontinuityandasenseofstability。Stabilitymattersforchildren。Knowingwhathappenswhentranslatesintoconfidenceandsecurity,asenseofefficacyandcontrol。 Creatingstabilitycantakeextraeffortifyoumove,aswedid,orifyourchildrelocatesfromhousetohouseeachweek。Butdivorcealsoisagreattimetoteachkidshelpfulorganizationskills。Notsoorganizedyourself?Youcanusethefactofyourdivorceasmotivationtolearn。 FiveWaystoControlChaos EstablishRoutinesAroundPositiveMoments Weknowthatahomeworkroutinehelpskidsbuildgoodworkhabits;schedulingregulartimesforfunhelpsdefinetheshapeoftheweekandreinforcesthefactthatyourlivesareaboutmorethandivorce。Italsohelpsensureyoullcreatepositivemoments,oneofmyPrinciplesofParting(linkisexternal)。 IletmysonwatchTVfor30minuteseverymorning。Moreactive,regularlyscheduledrecreationssuchastennislessons,gardening,religiousservices,cookingordiningwithfriendsareothereasywaystocreatepositiveroutines。 PutEverythingInItsPlace ManyolderkidsIspoketosaidtheylovehavingtwohomesingeneral,butdislikeconstantlymisplacingclothesandbooksastheymovefromplacetoplace。Evennow,Ilosestuffinmyhouse,butIdon’tknowwhichhouseIlostitin,saidahighschoolseniorinNewYorkwhoseparentshavebeendivorcedsinceshewasfour,andlivewithinwalkingdistanceofeachother。 Identifyaregularlocationforyourchildren’sclothes,booksandtoysandmakesuretheyusethem。ProfessionalorganizerJulieMorgenstern,authorofOrganizingfromtheInsideOut(linkisexternal)andOrganizingfromtheInsideOutforTeens(linkisexternal),recommendsthekindergartenclassroomapproachtohomeorganization。Inkindergarten,thecoloringareaisinonepartoftheroom,dressupinanother。Inahouse,youcanalsoestablishactivityzones。Coatsgointhecoatcloset,schoolsuppliesonthedesk,wetbathingsuitsonthehookinthebathroom。 UnpackImmediately Onceyouidentifywhereyourchildrensitemsgo,createaroutineofunpackingimmediately,andputtingeverythinginitsplace。TheManhattanteentoldmeshe’ddragherstufffromplacetoplaceinabigbag,nevergetaroundtounpacking,andthenforgetwhichitemswereinwhichbaginwhichhome。Youcanmakearoutineoutofputtingawayyourchildren’spossessions,andusetheoccasiontohelpthemreconnectwiththeirsenseofhomeatyourplace。 I’vewrittenabouthowunpackingquicklycanhelpadultsfeelsettled(linkisexternal)aftermoving;thesameistrueforkidswhorelocatefromhousetohouseeachweek。 InvestinDuplicateCopies Parentingintwoplacescangofarmoresmoothlyifyousplurgeonanextracopyofbooks,pajamasandotheressentialsthatareeasytomisplace。Here’soneareawherespendingalittlecangoalongwaytowarddecreasingconflictanotherimportantpartofhelpingkidsflourish。Ifyourexconstantlylosesyourson’sclothes,it’slessemotionallycostlytoinvestinextrashortsthantoconstantlyfightovermissingitems。 Manyolderkidslugaroundhalfdozenheavytextbookseachweek。Havingasetateachplaceprotectstheirbacksandprovidesitsownsecuritytheyknowthattheycancompletetheirassignments,regardlessofwhichhousethey’reinthatnight。 ConsideranOrganizationalApporOnlineCalendar Stayingorganizedyourselfcansmoothtransitionsforyourchildren。Usetechnologytohelpkeeptrackofschedules,playdates,contactsandschoolprojects。SomeadultsuseaGoogleDocoranonlinecoparentingsitetocoordinatewiththeirchild’sotherparent。 DivorcedmotheroftwoTraciWhitneywentonestepfurther。Traciwantedoneplacetorecordexpenses,exchangenoteswithherofttravelingexandsharedoctor’snumbersandphotos。In2012,shelaunchedTwohappyhomes。com,aperky,upbeatsitethathelpsorganizethemassiveproductionthatischildhoodtoday。Igetalongwithmyexfine,butthere’ssomuchinformationthatyouhavetoshare,andifyoudoitintwohouseholds,it’smuchharder,shesaid。 Havingyourchildrenliveintwohomeswasprobablynotyouridealvisionfortheirhomelife。Butaswithsomuchindivorce,thechallengeisalsoanopportunitytodevelopvaluableskillsthatwillimproveyourlifeandtheirs,nowandinthefuture。