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　　标题：OvercomingFearBasedThinkingandCreatingaHappyMindandLife
　　作者：WandaTam
　　原文链接：https：flipboard。comdaniszypositivepsychologyetq524gmzovercomingfearbasedthinkingandcreatingahappymindandlifeamfKDVosXRS6NQ42gAXENA3Aa3A41286816a3fef456c02Ftinybuddha。com
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　　Everythingyouwantisontheothersideoffear。GeorgeAddair
　　Myparentswereteenagerswhentheyhadtheirfirstofthreechildren。Iwasthemiddlechild。Theywereuneducated，poor，andhadverydifficultupbringings。
　　AsIrecallmychildhood，mostofwhatIrememberishowfearfulbothofmyparentswere。
　　Theywereconstantlystressedoutaboutmoney，thekids，thetatteredhouse，therustycar，andeverythingelseintheirlives。
　　Mymother，myfirstrolemodel，wassoscaredoftheworld。Shedefinitelyhadanundiagnosedanxietydisorder。Shewasafraidtodriveacar，afraidtoeatinrestaurants，afraidtogoshopping，afraidofstrangers。
　　Shewascompletelycrippledbyfear。
　　Inordertocopewithalltheiranxiety，myparentsoftenturnedtobingedrinkingandsmoking。
　　Irememberwatchingthecigarettesmokeformathickhazethroughoutthehouse。MysiblingsandIhadnochoicebuttoinhalethesecondhandsmokeeveryday。Evenourclothesandschoolbookssmelledlikeanashtray。
　　Ihatedtoseethemdrinkbecauseitoftenledtoangryoutbursts。
　　Throughoutmychildhood，Iwitnessedmanypainfulandsometimestragicevents。Myparents’reactiontosucheventswasalwaysoverdramatizedanddownrightscaryattimes。Theyneverknewhowtocopeinacivilizedorpeacefulmanner。
　　Needlesstosay，mychildhoodwasfilledtothebrimwithfearfulexperiences。
　　Idesperatelywantedtofreemyselffromallthepainandfear。Ijustwantedtobreakfreeandbehappy。
　　Ivividlyrecall，attheageofeleven，makingapromisetomyselfthatIwoulddomybesttogetoutofthatmess。Iknewmyonlyescaperoutewouldbetostudyhard，gotouniversityonstudentloans，andgetagoodjob。
　　Ilockedmyselfinmybedroom，wearingsoundblockingearmuffs，andstudiedeverydayuntilIgraduatedfromuniversityattheageoftwentythree。
　　Graduationdaywasoneofthebestdaysofmylife。Ifinallygotmytickettofreedomandhappiness。Atleast，thatwaswhatIthought。
　　Afterthat，everythingfellneatlyintoplace。Igotagoodjob，gotmarried，boughtanicehouse，andhadtwobeautifulchildren。
　　But，despiteallofthesewonderfulexternalexperiences，Ihadn’tescapedtheclutchoffear。Itwaslikealeechfromchildhoodthatwouldn’tletgo。
　　Ioftencursedmyparentsforsaturatingmewithsuchfear。
　　Imadesuretohideit，especiallyfrommylovedonesandcoworkers。Ididn’twantmychildrentosufferlikeIdid，andIdidn’twantmyemployerorcoworkerstoseemyweakness。
　　Butthefearwasbuilding。Itwasstartingtobeatmeup。Iwouldn’tbeabletoholditinmuchlonger。
　　Ihadtofigureouthowtodealwiththisfear，andIhadtodoitfast。
　　Myheartandsoultoldmetodivedeeplyintothespiritualaspectoflife。
　　Idiligentlyconsumedahugeamountofspiritualselfhelpphilosophicalliterature，attendednumerousclassesandretreats，andfaithfullypracticedmuchofwhatIhadlearned。
　　Iwasenthralledbyitallandgenuinelyexcited。Thisworldwisdomresonatedtothecoreofmybeing。
　　Ifinallyfoundthetoolsnecessarytohelpcatapultmetotheothersideoffear。
　　OverthepastseveralyearsI’veadoptedmanyspiritualpractices。Theyhavenotonlyhelpedmedealwithfear，buthaveimprovedeveryaspectofmylife。
　　HerearethetoplessonsI’velearned：
　　1。Thepresentmomentispowerful。
　　Thereissomuchclarity，peace，andjoyinthepresentmoment。Totrulyletgoofthepastandstopfearingthefutureisliberating。It’sthedoorwaytofreedom。
　　Dailymeditationisoneofthebestwaystofullyexperiencethepresentmoment。
　　Ihaveahandfulofmeditationtechniquesinmytoolbox，butIoftenresorttosimplebreathmeditationforthirtyminutesadaytohelpgroundmeinthepresentmoment。Aswell，Ipracticemindfulnessdaily。
　　OnewayIpracticeistoeatmindfullyforonemealeachday。IamfullypresentwhileIeat。IeatslowlyandIengagemysenses。Ipayattentiontohowthefoodlooks，tastes，andsmells。Ifeelitinmymouthandhowitsettlesinmybody。Itrytoexperiencethefoodasthoughitwasmyfirsttimeevertastingit。Withsuchfocus，Iinevitablyslipintothepresentmoment。
　　Itdoesn’tmatterifyoumeditate，practicemindfuleating，whatmattersisthatyoucreatetimetopracticelivingfullyinthepresentmoment。
　　2。Awarenessisessential。
　　Wwearenotourthoughts。Withthishigherlevelofawareness，youcanstepoutsideofyourselfandwatchyourmindasitracesfromonethoughttoanother。Andyoucanwitnessyourhabitualemotionalreactionstothosethoughts。
　　Youbecometheempoweredwatcherofyourmind，insteadofbeinglostandentangledinthewebofthoughtsandemotions。Yourealizethatyouhaveachoiceinwhatyouthinkandhowyoureact。
　　TogiveyouamoreconcretedescriptionofwhatI’mtalkingabouthere，IwillgiveyouanexampleofhowIuseahigherlevelofawarenesstodealwithpotentiallystressfulsituationsineverydaylife。
　　IhadanimportantworkprojecttocompleteandIstartedtofeeloverwhelmedbecauseIthoughtIwouldn’tbeabletomeetmydeadline。
　　Ratherthanautomaticallydefaultingbackintomyfearfulfeelings，thoughts，andreactions，Istoppedmyselfimmediately。Itookafewslowdeepbreathsandfocusedonthesensationsofmybreathing。Thishelpedmeconnectwiththepresentmomentandofferedspacebetweenmythoughtsandmyactions。
　　Then，Ispokestatementstomyselfthatmademefeelbetter，including：It’snottheendoftheworldifIcan’tfinishthis，MybossknowsI’magoodworkerandhemayextendthedeadline，andIfItakeafewminutestorelaxmymind，Iwillworkmoreproductively。
　　Thesimpleactsofstoppingmyself，focusingonmybreath，andtalkingpositivelytomyselfbroughtmetoahigherlevelofawareness。IrealizedIhadachoiceinhowIcouldthinkandreact。WithinafewminutesIcalmedmyselfdowncompletelyandIsuccessfullyfinishedtheprojectontime。
　　3。Happinessiswithin。
　　Allofthegreatspiritualteachers，masters，andphilosophersoftheworldsharethesamemessagethathappinesscannotbefoundoutsideofus，intheexternalworld。Thereisnoperson，place，materialpossession，oramountofmoneythatwillbringyoutrue，lastinghappiness。
　　Rather，happinessisfoundwithin。Youhavetospendtimetakingcareofyourselfandcloselyevaluatingwhatmakesyoufeelhappy。Itwillvaryfrompersontoperson。
　　Myfirstencounterwithtrueinnerhappinessoccurredduringmeditation。Ihadbeenpracticingforaboutayearatthatpoint。
　　AsIsatinstillness，Ifeltmyselfgentlygobeyondthetangleofthoughtsandemotions。Ishiftedfromabaselineofworrytoafeelingofpeaceandhappiness。Itwaswonderful。Ifinallytappedintoastateofconsciousnessthatwashidinginsideofmemywholelife。
　　IalsofeelhappierinsidewhenIeatwell，exercise，sleepwell，practicegratitude，spendtimewithlovingfriendsandfamily，andlistentoupliftingmusic。
　　Shiftyourfocusfromexternalsandyou’llbebetterequippedtoidentifythelittlethingsthatbringyoupeaceandjoy。
　　FinalThoughts
　　IwasdumpedintothedepthsoffearwhenIarrivedonthisplanet。Butwithcourage，focus，belief，anddesireIploughedmyselfapathtohappiness。
　　Mylifetodayisquitetheoppositetothatofmychildhood。Now，Ienjoymylife。Iappreciateandlovemyfamily，friends，andthelifeIhavebuilt。
　　Pleasedon’tgetmewrongmylifehasitschallenges。Challengesareanormalpartofhumanexistence。
　　Butnow，Ihavethetoolsnecessarytopreventmyselffromdefaultingbacktomyold，habitual，negative，andfearfulwayofthinking。Instead，Itrymybesttofocusonthegoodinlifeandconsistentlyreachforthevaluablelessonsineverydifficulty。
　　Today，whenIlookbackatmychildhood，Ifeelloveandforgivenesstowardmyparents。Inowrealizethattheytriedtheirbestfromwheretheystood。Theywerejusthumanbeingslostinthewhirlwindoffearandstruggle。
　　Infact，withoutmychildhood，Iwouldn’tbewhoIamtoday。IfeelthatmychildhoodclearlyshowedmewhatIdidn’twantand，inturn，itforcedmetofocusonwhatIreallywantedinlife，whatweallwanttobehappy。